I can feel it sucking me in. I can't seem to avoid its strong gravitational pull. Once I am in, I can't do anything to get out.
I am stuck in the "friend zone."
My theory is most of the friends you currently have are your friends for one simple reason. You tried to get with them or visa versa and fell into the "friend zone."
The "friend zone" is a lonely place. You sit at a bar across the table from your best friend, and she is cuddling with her boyfriend. Only an hour ago she cried on your shoulder about what a jerk he was being. You know in the back of your mind in a couple of days you will get another one of those teary phone calls asking you if you want to talk. So you run over to her apartment and let her cry on your shoulder once again. Because that is what a best friend is supposed to do.
So how does someone end up in the "friend zone?" Unfortunately the answer is by being a nice guy. If you don't get her drunk and try to take advantage of her, you will end up in the "friend zone." If you don't ignore her when your friends are around or call her a bitch when she questions you, you will end up in the "friend zone."
The problem is girls say they want one thing and then go after a completely different thing.
Let us examine a typical Hollywood romantic comedy. Enter Richard Gere as Julia Roberts' lifelong friend. Richard is secretly in love with Julia. Enter Hugh Grant as Julia's cocky boyfriend. For the entire two hour movie, the audience is rooting for Richard. He never would steer Julia wrong. Inevitably by the end of the film, Julia sees the light and runs into Richard's arms. The women seem to love these movies. They eat them up. But they do not live by the philosophy of the movie. In real life, Julia ends up with Hugh, and Richard and I are left wondering where we went wrong.
Women do not know what they want. This extends past what kind of guy they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Let me talk to the guys who have been in a relationship of six months or longer. You think you know what she wants. She thinks she knows what she wants. But one day at about 5 p.m., the two of you are driving down the road. You are hungry and ask her where she wants to have dinner. Her response: "Whatever." In this case "whatever" does not mean "whatever." It actually means, "you better remember what kind of food I like" and "you better remember the last five restaurants we went to because I am not going there again." So after you have suggested the seventh or eighth restaurant for the two of you to go to, and she has given you another excuse like "no my cousin's ex-roommate works there, and I don't like the shoes I am wearing," just remember she said "whatever."
(Author's note: This last paragraph actually has nothing to do with the "friend zone." It simply illustrates how women have no idea what they want.)
Can someone get out of the "friend zone" once they are in it? The sad answer is no. I was having a conversation with a co-worker of mine the other day. We were talking about a mutual friend, and I suggested she should try dating him. I then heard the words I have heard a million times but still do not understand: "No, we are too good of friends."
So let me get this straight: You don't want to date someone who you can completely trust? You say you want someone who will make you happy and can be there for you through thick and thin. But your boyfriend knows nothing about you. He doesn't know your favorite color let alone your life ambitions or how to make you happy. Don't you want to be with someone who knows everything about you and is willing to stick by you anyway? He will be there even when you feel ugly or fat. Because he thinks you're beautiful no matter what.
My female friends reading this column should not read this and think I am talking about you. This is not my way of telling you that I am secretly in love with you. Anyone who knows me knows that I completely wear my emotions on my sleeve.
So girls, the next time you want a guy to make you happy, don't look very far. He is right there next to you. He will treat you like a queen. He knows everything about you so you know you can trust him. In some capacity, you know he loves you. And in some capacity, you know you love him, too. That's why the next time you have a problem, he is the first person you call. Because you know he will be at your doorstep with a shoulder to cry on.
14 comments
If you don't get her drunk and try to take advantage of her, you will end up in the "friend zone." If you don't ignore her when your friends are around or call her a bitch when she questions you, you will end up in the "friend zone."
That is a disgusting statement. Maybe the problem isn't that you're a nice guy; maybe the problem is that women see you as the judgemental psycho you are.
Response: Yes, your day is coming. I've actually been there when I was a Freshman. When she comes back to you a year or two later, DIVORCED and with babies in tow, telling you how much she has missed you, thank her. Then remind her that you had to move on with your life, otherwise she will use you again until she finds a replacement for her ex. Trust me on this one!Besides, if you were in love with a beautiful new car you couldn't afford, would you wait for a Long Time until the owner used up all that New car Smell, put wear, tear, dents and a couple of hundred thousand miles into it? Would it still be the same car? How could you possibly benefit by waiting for it to be available, when you could have had another one?