Not often in sports do you hear beautiful women shouting, "hard" or "more."
No, those phrases typically are relegated to the contact sports Paris Hilton enjoys.
But there's one sport being contested in Turin, Italy, where you'll hear those phrases sprinkled among strategy, intuition and 42-pound stones.
It's curling, the Olympic sport that's tickling the curiosity of Americans and becoming the cult contest of the Games.
In spite of that, there are some people out there who say curling is not a sport. These naysayers have the audacity to say one of the most technically difficult Winter Olympic sports isn't actually a sport.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines sport as a "game or contest involving individual skill or physical prowess." Curling fits that.
For those curling haters, I have to tell you one thing: Just try it. The argument I hear most often from the sport's cynics is that it can't be a legit sport if anyone can do it.
After flying to Minnesota to find the closest curling rink, you'd realize you're awful at curling.
Once there, try this: Send a heavy stone down 146 feet of slick ice and make it rest perfectly anywhere in the house, which is a 12-foot circle.
It's not like darts or shuffleboard or the carnival ring toss; not anybody can do it.
The best sport to compare it to is golf. Like golf, curling requires a perfect touch, concentrated practice and the ability to read the playing surface accurately.
Curlers must read the ice like golfers interpret the green.
Throw in some teamwork and shrewd foresight and you've got curling.
The sport is cool, but sometimes it's hot, too. Like the Austrian, Italian, British and German female curlers who are raising money by posing half nude for a curling calendar, according to the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. It's so hot that Playboy magazine even is touting the calendar in its March issue, according to the Arizona Republic.
The attractive athletes didn't just raise money; they also apparently raised
Team USA hotties Cassie and Jamie Johnson (yes, they're sisters) aren't in the calendar, but they're still a lot of fun to watch.
But curling is not just about the ladies on ice. In fact, men's and women's curling features some extreme competition that combines the strategy of chess, the precision of golf and the sweeping skills of that guy from "Mary Poppins."
My theory is that most curling haters simply don't understand the sport. They're too afraid to learn about it and get hooked.
If bewilderment about the rules has stopped you from watching, here's a 10-step crash course on the icy, stone-throwing sensation:
1) There are two teams each with four players.
2) Ten ends (or innings) make up a curling match.
3) Each team alternately throws eight stones per end - that's two per team member.
4) When all 16 stones have been thrown, you want your team's rocks to be closest to the tee, which is the center of the bull's-eye target.
5) If your team has the closest stone at the conclusion of the end, you have "shot rock" and score a point. If the next-closest rock is your opponent's, you just score one.
6) But if you have the two, three or even four closest rocks to the button, you get that many points. You could potentially score eight in an end, but it would be close to impossible to have the eight closest stones. You rarely see an end score of more than three. Only one team can score in each end.
7) Only stones in the house - the 12-foot outermost ring - can score. If no rocks are in that blue circle, it's an empty end and neither team gets points.
8) If your team scores in an end, you go first the next end, giving the other team a better chance to score. Having the last shot in an end - called the hammer - is an obvious advantage. Whoever has the most points after 10 ends wins.
9) The stone curls, hence the name. Because of this, the shooters must plan for the stone to have an arc-shaped path to the house. When you watch curling, notice the stone change its position in relation to the centerline.
10) The faster the stone goes, the straighter it goes. Because of this, the sweepers will go to work. After the shot, the shooter will tell his or her sweepers "hard" or "no" as to whether they should clean the ice in front of the stone with their synthetic curling brooms. This adds another dimension to curling. Adept sweeping can mend an imperfect shot.
Those are just 10 morsels of the delicious sport of curling.
I don't have time to dissect all the strategy of curling, but you can figure that out on your own. After all, the NBC networks have planned almost 90 hours of curling coverage.
So check your local listings and fall in love with curling.
And in no time, you'll be talking like a seasoned skip - all the way in ice-free Lubbock.
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