Hot flashes, t flashes, cold sweats, dry mouth - these are all signs he beer is gone and 2 a.m. has hit. A sense of panic surrounds you as you become conscious the only alcohol left is the old beer in the cans scattered on the ground.
Then a realization hits there is fresh beer in that freshman girl's cup because she is only pretending to drink it. You start to plot out a plan with your friends. Here it is. One of you is going to bump into her while the other steals her beer. You must have an in-between person to hand the half-drunk beer off to so the person who bumped her has their drink, too.
This is the kind of plan that gets you in trouble. It has happened to my friends and I many times. Partygoers tend to play out this scenario about every other weekend. They think up the most "Mission: Impossible"-style moves they can, such as swooping off the roof and stealing someone's beer, and think the person will never notice it missing. But thank goodness you never go through with it, mostly because someone is sober and they remind you of the impracticality of it all and how the plans just won't work.
If it is a true drinking party, the beer is going to be gone in about three hours. So the smart thing to do would be to buy your own beer but keep it in your car for the 2 a.m. call. The only problem is as the party starts to dwindle down and the beer begins to diminish, someone has to mention the stash of beer in the car, and of course you are probably drunk, so you share with the crowd.
The more you drink, the nicer you get and more beer gets passed out because you are extra happy and extra drunk. The party begins to die down, you realize all the beer is gone and there is practically no way to get more. Then you really wish you weren't the nicest person in the world and hadn't given away all your precious beer to charity. This is when long lost friends come into play.
You begin to call people you haven't talked to in weeks, maybe even months. As the phone calls are being made, your friends are thinking up the idea of finding one beer and splitting it as many ways as possible. They keep formulating this plan until they realize splitting one beer between five people doesn't add up to much for each person.
You finally reach someone who knows of someone having some sort of jamboree with alcohol involved. It doesn't matter who it is or where it is, you will suffer through bad company to get some more alcoholic pleasure. You begin to make your way toward the door, making your way to the sweet taste of the next cold beer. But parting the crowd with a group of drunken people is like parting the Red Sea. Everybody has to exchange numbers with someone or make plans to meet up later.
When you finally make it to the door you realize someone is not there and you end up looking for him or her. You find him or her in random spots, like the same place you started from or making out with some anonymous girl or guy in the kitchen. You have to pull him or her away from the new love of their life and make your way back to the door again.
Upon reaching the designated party, your crowd heads straight for the beer speaking to no one and meeting no one's eyes. You may get a couple of beers out of this party but this party too, will dry up soon. After this last venture for beer you just give up on drinking for the rest of the night and either pass out or make your annual trip to Whataburger.
Kellie Tolbert is a sophomore journalism major from Clovis, N.M. She can be contacted at Lilnymph_klt@hotmail.com.
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