Walking around campus the other day, I happened to overhear a conversation some girl was having with one of her friends. Not being adept at eavesdropping because of my lack of practice, I only overheard some key phrases.
I gathered the pair was talking about the past weekend. I was about to stop listening to the conversation and focus on my own life again when I heard one girl say something about her "gay friend." I then started thinking about the role of my gay friends in my life.
For those of you not in the know, for the past few years the "gay friend" has been a more popular accessory for straight females than a Louis Vuitton or Birkin bag. The gay friend is as necessary to a girl squad as the token black guy is to a teen movie.
The trend started when shows like "Will and Grace" and "Sex and the City" were popular. And thanks to shows like these, the stereotype of the gay friend is exactly what I see when I speak to or hang out with all my homosexual friends.
First of all, everyone knows the gay guy friend is a fashion guru. He only reads magazines like "In Style," "GQ" and "Vogue." Gay males are always impeccably dressed; it doesn't matter if they are wearing Bermudas and Birkenstocks because they are in vogue, no matter what. They envy all the accessories women get to have and vent this jealousy by telling all their female friends what purses, shoes and belts to wear.
My gay friends are no exception. Never mind that one gay friend of mine once tried to match my salmon sweater with a hot pink belt - he is gay, so his fashion choices cannot be questioned. They are law.
Secondly, everyone knows gay men can dance. It doesn't matter if they happen to have less rhythm than a drunken frat boy - if they perform a move on the dance floor, it is the coolest new move at the club.
This love of dance comes from the endless musicals that gay men watch everyday. They study these to learn the old moves so they can be modified for modern-day usage.
In fact, gay men watch only musicals because there simply is not enough time in the day for them to watch anything else, unless that something else is "Project Runway." And if you are lucky enough, ladies, your gay friend will take you to the club and make you look amazing on the dance floor because of the study and practice he has put in.
Another advantage to having a gay male friend is he can use his advanced "gaydar" to tell you which guys are straight or not. And because gay men will hit on these guys no matter what, they also can help you with great pick-up lines.
Also, gay men obviously have better taste in men than straight women, so they are more skilled at knowing which guys are good for you and which ones are bad for you.
Then of course, one must consider the lesbian friend. She is a tough chick that wouldn't be caught dead without her hiking boots. Her hair always is cut short like a man's, and she shuns all things feminine.
The lesbian friend is useful as a body guard, because her experiences with sports - like rugby - make her an intimidating force to be dealt with. Forget those pretty lesbians like Portia de Rossi that are shown on television; every lesbian must get her spike haircut as part of her uniform.
Gay men and women know they must fit these preconceived notions of who they are. Without these rules, people actually might value them for something other than the stereotypes they may or may not follow.
Without these characteristics, gay friends might be just friends. They would become people who we spend time with because we enjoy their company and the kindness they show us - just like a normal friend.
There are so many other advantages to having a gay friend who fits all the gay stereotypes. In fact, I'm thinking of having other stereotype-like friends.
The dumb sorority girl, the jock and the white guy will all fit nicely into my preconceived niches for them.
Because we all know everyone fits into the stereotype made for them.
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