I adore holidays. Holidays usually put people in a good mood, different sorts of gifts are given and the food is always the best.
Every holiday has a special place in my heart. But the one holiday I have never liked and shared space for in my heart has to be the one coming upon us next week - Valentine's Day.
As far back as I can remember, I have never enjoyed Valentine's Day. The red and pink hearts, flowers, candy - all that "romantic" crap just seems ridiculous to me.
My dislike for this holiday started back in elementary school. I never liked the idea of having to give a Valentine, usually the Smurfs, to everyone in class. You know the teacher made up this rule so that kids without friends wouldn't feel left out.
But thinking like an elementary-age kid, I didn't want to give a Valentine to someone I did not like. They might get the wrong idea, chase you on the playground and tease you until you finally give in to the awaited kiss behind the slide. You will never live that one down.
Middle school was not any better. You would either ask or get asked to "go with" someone before the big day. Mom or dad would buy you flowers, candy or cheap jewelry for you to give your junior-high love. The pre-teens would proudly hold their presents high, balloons hooked to backpacks, knocking out people behind them.
Let's not forget the Valentine's Day dance - always the highlight of the holiday. You and your date secretly hold hands in the back of mom's minivan on the way to the event. Dancing the night away (well at least until 10 p.m.), giggling and gossiping with friends and hoping for that Valentine's kiss by the bathroom. Who would've known the perfect, middle-school couple would break up the next week? Bet you thought it would last forever.
High school is not much different. The high schoolers still think it's cool to wear the holiday colors and to carry the balloons and flowers. Sure, the gifts are now self-bought, mom and dad need not to worry. Whispering commences throughout the halls of what your significant other has given you, what restaurant chain you will dine at that evening and what you will be giving in return.
No wonder Valentine's Day has turned into a materialistic, Hallmarked holiday. We grew up in a society that views the heart-filled holiday in this way. We have been programmed since birth to give candy hearts and flowers to someone we love. Red and pink lovey-dovey gifts have been shoved down our throats. Why has this become acceptable, and why do we continue to conform to this store-bought romance?
I have actually heard people complain about the amount of flowers (or lack of) or the financial value of an object given to them by their so-called loved one. This is appalling. Love is an intense emotion. It has no monetary value and shouldn't be compared to material things. Those who do should be ashamed.
I also have a problem with the love-stuffed-into-one-day bit. Loving someone and showing love should be a daily routine, not just for that "special day." It needs to be every day. Now, I'm not suggesting that we buy flowers and crap every single day. That would be a complete waste of cash. I'm suggesting the little things should count more. Here's an example.
I was dating this guy when I left for college, so we decided to try out the long distance thing. He would call or e-mail everyday, which was great, but I love getting real mail. I'm big on pen pals, and I don't like looking into an empty mailbox. So, I asked for him to send me a real letter. He told me he wasn't a writer, he didn't like writing letters and to forget about that idea...and I did. Valentine's Day came around, and I told him not to waste his money on a gift. So, he sent me a letter. We eventually broke up, remained friends and I still have the letter. It was the best gift I have ever gotten from a boyfriend. So, like I said, it is the little things that count.
Step back and take a hard look at the little things your loved one has done for you. Did he hand over the remote? Did she cancel the dinner with her mom and dad so you could watch the game? Those little so-called meaningless acts should score higher on the chart. All those stupid Valentine's Day gifts shouldn't even be in the same category. Store-bought love cannot compare to love coming directly from the heart.
So, this Valentine's Day, if your loved one doesn't surprise you with the exact amount of flowers you wanted, think about the little things they have done for you. Give them credit. If you cannot seem to get past the disappointment of the Valentine's-Day gift, then I suggest an evaluation of the relationship. Maybe you are not worthy of the little things. Flowers die, candy is eaten and jewelry is lost, but the little things and the love behind them can remain forever in memory. Happy Valentine's Day.
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