Marriage is overrated. So is turning 21, 30 and motherhood. I don't believe in marriage, the tooth fairy, Santa Claus or that Elvis or Tupac are alive. Every mother or woman is not maternal or dreams of a family in a brick home surrounded by a white picket fence. Call me a realist, or assume that I have my reasons.
You're probably wondering what would drive a young, educated Texas woman against the idea of marriage. Let me amuse you.
Before and after the 10th century, marriage was associated with property - to be exact, the woman as property. The institution of marriage was designed by men for the benefit of men, and today many marriage traditions still resemble the outdated forms. Many women change their last names for their husbands and give up their goals for the benefit of their newfound family or husband.
Yes, some traditions are changing, I agree. Yet, while true dating is almost nonexistent, chivalry is dead and the institution of marriage has a skyrocketing failure rate, the odds are against anyone who wants to enter into the eternal titles.
Then there are children. Children annoy me. Most are dirty, knock on the door while you're peeing, wake you up in the middle of the night and force you to change the direction of your life. Two years ago I had the option to have a child, and I decided against it. I wasn't ready for motherhood, and Texas Tech wasn't ready for a pregnant me on this campus either.
So while I reject marriage, motherhood and realize I'm not yet ready for those roles, there are those, men and women, who spend thousands of dollars on in vitro fertilization to have a child. Those people who search high and low to get to the altar and say "I do." They are ready and willing to give their all to raise a child in the best schools and create a family atmosphere that would intimidate Martha Stewart. These people come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes are even gay. Yes, gay.
Surprise, surprise. The Texas Legislature came up with the brilliant and discriminatory notion of approving a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriages and limit civil unions. How funny that someone like me, who doesn't want marriage or motherhood, is allowed to do both, but someone who actually would embrace those roles cannot.
The American Psychological Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics both agree, "Heterosexual parents are no better or worse at parenting than lesbian and gay parents."
If gay couples want children and the institution of marriage, which is a failing system anyway, be my guest. They can even have my spot.
The ban, House Joint Resolution 6, was introduced by Rep. Warren Chisum of Pampa. Pampa's homepage, cityofpampa.org, calls Pampa, "It's a small, small world."
No kidding. Pampa's population is a tiny percentage of our state's population, and Chisum believes his "small, small world" ideas should be spread throughout our great state. What a jokester.
Texas Women's Coalition's homepage notes the Talton Amendment, part of Senate Bill 6, would require government workers to investigate the sexual orientation of all potential foster parents, remove children from stable foster families and prohibit any single individuals suspected of being gay from becoming foster parents. These investigations would cost taxpayers approximately $17 million a year and hurt children. Did they finish funding our schools yet, by chance?
While I personally have separate views of children and marriage, that doesn't mean I don't believe all people have rights. All children deserve a stable home, no matter the sexual orientation, rather than an institution and gay couples deserve the right to marry, form a civil union and follow out the American dream just like anyone else. To openly write discrimination into our constitution is a step in the wrong direction.
The Texas Legislature has many more problems at hand than what a few people are doing behind closed doors. What is everyone afraid of?
When we think back to the fight of equal rights for women and the civil rights movement, most of us cringe and can't even fathom what it could have been like. We are embarrassed and ask our parents after dinner, "What was it like?" Think 20 years ahead when our children are in our spots.
They will ask the same questions. We will show pictures of marches and the representatives who began the movement against gay people and tell the stories of the lack of rights gays had.
After we put them to bed, will look back at those pictures and place our heads in our hands, embarrassed.
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